Rants about a Particular "Someone"

Oh no! Now, here comes that bitch again,
She never fails to drive us all insane!

Her thinking goes in opposite direction with our ways,
What we ask, she turns it away!

She yap like she's got some super Einstein brains,
Someone bloody tell her her "brains" belong in the drain!

She talks too long, and she gives incomplete info,
Yet she wonders why we understand her bitching less than a UFO!

Miss ****** dear, if I could give you a piece of my mind;
I’d tell you what was it about you that drive me crazy,
Since you keep on putting it down to us being lazy!

No disrespect to you, being a smartass “big shot” or what;
Still you need to get your head into some crash test,
Yeah, just so ya know you ain’t no better than the rest!

Still think you’re unique?
Receiving so much trouble from you;
Just you wait till my anger reaches its peak!

We all think you’re a slut!
Bet you don’t give a fuck;
Maybe you’re a genius and we are nuts?!!!

Please don’t be too full of yourself!
Amongst us we can see your true colours!
When we expose them you won’t be having anymore followers!

Oh what? You feel like ya sorta offended?
Okay then, as well you should be; dumb fuck!
You’re just a bitchy witch bringing us the shittiest of luck!

As this profanity poem concludes we stand by one thing;
Inside and out you’re a nasty piece of being!
How I wish we never had put up with you before;
But then again, we might’ve never had the chance to be this hardcore!

P.S : Read my lips; YOU’RE A FUCKING WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In collaboration with : "Drifting Dreamer.."

Betrayal aint nice..

now only do i realize how far distanced we are away from each other, should i face any more obstacles you do no more than bother to even glance in my wretched direction. but for him you'd run to the ends of the Earth of apologize over a thousand times, even if it werent yourself at fault. and you are furious at me for not supporting him before. how can i support him if he had used me like a disposable tool? and do you know you are only second in line, none of his priorities?
FOOL.
but what i hate about him the most is that he forced you to choose him over me. perhaps not forced, but influenced. twisted. corrupted your mind so that it would no longer be one of this family. then again, were you ever with us?

The bastard, i was sincere about trying to help you. Trying to help you see through her nature of disguise and do whatever it took possible for your heart to forget her. But instead you chase after her with a mind of possessed craze that i cant even save you from.
And you leave me at the said of the road trying to decide if you were just playing with me me for your amusement or maybe took me seriously for a very short while. after some debate, i confirm its the first. you weren't planning to give her up at all. all the while. why, even the secrets of her life i've told you've probably leaked them to her. honestly i couldn't give a fucking damn but i cant believe you have such blind eyes if you ever use them for seeing, that is, that you still ignore my advice and follow your tattered brain. i don't regret reading those messages, even if it was an invasion of privacy. i deserve to know whats been happening outside my knowledge, no? but then its not only just curiousity. maybe its an overpowering need for revenge.

Back to you, my beloved friend, if you really want to know its not just me that's holding you for blame. Why, others are too. And they've told me their share of stories of how you used and pathetically threw them away. after you found new friends, do you really just leave your old ones to rot like that? use them like tissue paper? i don't understand why you chose to do that.
You're treating us as if we've never existed. now i can even imagine you walking by past me without a word nor second glance. but when you see him, your face lights up and you run to that traitor, the player, the bastard. i know this will happen. And us? You couldn't give much thought. A long time ago i sworn not to break my promise but your broke yours and this is the outcome.

Valentine's Day

I still remember the day my heart broke. i wish i could say "fuck this shit" *troll face and forget it, but i cant and that annoys me. So let me get it all done here. I would've never thought of you, never felt you, heard you, if i had not seen those pictures, clicked on that blog and read its contents. It was harmless, intentionally, but its images and words went through me like a blade. The same situation i was in 4 years ago, at the very same blog. Does this girl know what she's putting herself through? The guy she's dealing with? He was my one hope at that time...and destroyed it, with that one so called seemingly harmless picture.
Still recalling shattered events in those years, where i thought high-school sweethearts and strumming guitar love songs(taylor swift) were the only things i wanted to priotirize in life, they seem so far to me now.

Lol, its hard to believe someone like me blogging about something that is pointless to me, right?
SO, today, instead of frantically searching for a last minute date, we went to an orphange. Luke created a facebook event for it and i didnt even know, not until ijust logged on facebook recently. We agreed to donate some things, and i went through my collection of books, selecting all of Enid Blyton's ones

(cuz im so sick of them, i read them a thousand times and over no offense to the author tho) and a couple of ones that didnt really interest me at all..i mean, if its something that i really care enough to think twice about giving it away, its books. usually i wouldnt mind much because my bookcase is so crammed..but i got these book vouchers recently and have been on a shopping spree since..

Yeah so since its Valentine's day and couples get together-day, obviously the ones that went for this trip are #foreveralone. including me. Tisha, Samanta, Jonny, Luke, me. An hour went by whilst i waited at Mc'd before someone finally showed up, Tisha.

Got out of it at last and we were on our way. The orphanage was at Klang and Luke's friend, Lindy or Lingyi. The orphanage was smaller than i thought, even smaller than the one i visited with my collegemates, but then that doesnt really matter.
we played games and i was already starting to warm up to them, they reminded me alot of the bunch we visited with my college mates. i feel kind of sad, because this kind of thing is well, you only visit once and after that, you dont think of coming back anymore.
Well the first time i got kinda attached to the small girl, forgot what her name was but argh- i still remember her because of her story. she told me her parents were divorced (not exactly divorced, her exact words were mommy and daddy dont live together any more) and that her mom sent her to live here.

She said she only saw her mom once every month. She never saw her father at all and she had an elder sister that never made an appearance after she was sent away. She only sees her mom and thats not frequent, her mom comes often just to drop off food and pay some bills before taking off.
I know it sounds normal to you, because you're not there, not experiencing the real gist of it. this girl the way she said it was emotionless, like she didnt really care. To her they werent family, just occasional strangers in her life. I thought it'd be a sensitive issue, but when i prodded further she really didnt care at all. Her family were her friends and caretakers at the orphanage, not the ones who abandoned her.

Sometimes these kids confuse me because whilst there are some that so clearly seek attention and love, there are those that just have completely no interest in interacting or anything. They maintain the 'no way we have done this before can we do something else why is it always the same thing' kind of attitude, so it makes me jumpy whenever i visit orphanages.
i dont know what to expect. Today's orphanage was good, i had loads of fun but i wish we could've stayed there longer. You know, i felt like adopting a daughter or son on the spot then- lol, and i always choose the younger ones. We played games la, next time have to bring more food. food always works. Great strategy to bring those kids out, seriously. KFC does it best. =D
I wanted to teach them to dance D: but they were so incredibly shy, TT Y U NO UNDERSTAND I WONT EAT U??!
The second orphanage was harder. not exactly orphanage, more like home for the disabled. okay, i didnt know what to do there.

They were having their dinner and my stomach was rumbling too. time to take off. I think Jonny was the most popular one there today. He got at least eight kids up to him with his MacBook.

When three of them burst into tears at the same time i got scared. Can we run away now? But then this indian boy came to save the day, yeay! He managed to convince her to the table, and i saw alot of the older ones playing with the smaller ones, so adorable. They really care. Not doing it cause im the elder and its my responsibility. Why? I guess its because they've only got each other in their life, and everyone's precious. ah, what a great story this would make. One is actually popping up in my head now, will be formed soon. We, well, take each other for granted. Idiot. but i cant do anything. I tried.

Visiting the home and orphanage was great..now pray that ill actually come up with a good friendship childhood bond kind of story.

Happy Valentine's!

Burdens, panic, directionless..

Everyone around me has the same kind of desperate look; frantic and anxious, trying to calm their nerves and sorting through their sanity, but perhaps mine stands out the most. Even in the times of my darkest hour like these i bear this burden alone for no one is by my side. No. God has ensured they would be far from me when i was to receive the blow.

The one cut that severed me from the confidence of my future. I was near breakdown then, angry yet guilty, and i seacrhed the crowd for a familiar face but found none. No one which i could relieve myself temporarily and forget what was to behold. There were brief greetings, short conversations exchanged with distant people but apart from that i felt completely lost. Everything was falling apart.
This was the day i swore i would put everything right, but now the situation has heightened to a worse state. The turmoil of emotions so well hidden before were starting to overwhelm me, so i fled to the library. Even then i could not find peace. I want to scream, throw tantrums and furniture and maintain that it was not my fault.

Did i not try? Was what happened on exam day my fault to begin with? And those that pretend to care, you are also the cause of my unending suffering. Pretending not to care is a closure of your emotions, and without those emotions, you come off as heartless. Rebellious. Uncaring. Failure. And that's how and what i've been labelled as.

So now here i am, stuck, with none but one direction. And i do not want to take that option. somehow i fear it will not run accordiing to plan, but today itself was already in a mess. So, what else can go wrong?

MUCH MUCH MORE.

Flashmobs for Cadbury

Hell I am SO tired, I just woke up from a seemingly ten minutes sleep but as actually three hours, yet my body still feels like lead and I cant seem to wake up fully. Exhaustion. Ah, what a day. Out of the three Cadbury flashmobs I have to say this one was the most informal, which is good obviously, hell, I remember the time we did the second flashmob for a wedding anniversary I found out every girl had to wear a princess-like fairytale dress..OMG was totally unprepared..and the dress was so damn freaking long even all the pins I put on it and the stupid aching heels weren’t enough to hold it up, lol.

Gosh one particularly embarrassing part was when I had to do a twirl with my partner and I was like, oh shit.

You know what.

Im going to have to hop, not walk gracefully, if I don't want to trip. And flashmobs never start early. Like never. I remember going there super early in the morning and it didn’t start until 5 plus…oh well, at least we got paid extra for that. ^.^

downside is, I lost my wallet containing ALL my money, my previous savings, adding up to RM300 plus altogether. Yeah yeah. I was an idiot for not putting it in my bag. Lesson learned. Yes. I left it in the toilet while changing. When I remembered and rushed to get it before the flashmob was starting, I had to run in my heels and with the annoying dress dragging along the way, it was not easy to ignore the curious stares of the other shoppers.
A few more perverted ones whistled, but I think my sister got more attention. No one will be looking at me when she’s beside. When I got to the toilet I realised it was gone. Ok fuck. No other choice but to just forget about it and dance.

yeah today flashmob was a wedding proposal, the guy was dressing up as this bear stalking her around Pyramid since she likes bears. whilst he's doing his stalking thing his girlfriend is brought to A Cut Above for free makeup and hairdo..(of course everything is paid by Cadbury.) we then wait for HOURS at the tent entrance and the MC's entertains the crowd up. I just remember trying to stay in one place and looking out for our cue to start to dance and not get pushed over by other ppl.
It was freaking crowded in there,seriously. Plus the long waiting didnt help me sweat less.

The beautiful soon to be bride finally entered and we all started clapping, she looks bedazzling, so she walks up in the red-no purple carpet up to the MC's where they congratulate her and blah blah. So she has no idea whats happening, and we start to dance. yeah and we dont have enough space. =.= did the best i could, but whatever.
finally, hallelujah, done! got our money, we left to eat at Simply Penang, and i could finally go home. i mean, flahmobs are fun.

But i wish people would appreciate dancers more. no matter how good and bad just as long as they are dancing or on stage. Its not easy to get up there, and we have follow all the organizations and wishes of the client. Not to forget waking up super duper early too, and driving to freaking far places including avoid jam, and the long hours of waiting...yeah.

pouring Rain

Looking forward to another day,
The sky lined with a soft crimson and baby blue.
Golden as it seems,
The sky cries out softly to me.
Dulled by a sudden gray,
Rainy and mundane,
I embrace your tears.

The Chaos

I prodded the sleeping bag gently. His only response was a slight grumble and continued snoring.
"Patrick."
The sun burned in my eyes and the dizzy headache i felt from last night resurfaced again. I didnt even bother to fight it, fell back obligingly on my bed. Tired. Could it really only had been yesterday?
The doors burst open and more sunlight streamed in, blinding me and bringing another wave of lightning headaches. I swore. About 10 soldiers covered the bedside, not allowing any escapes. 20 more stood outside,weapons held at ready. I tensed, my hand immediately sliding down to my belt, gripping nothingness. Surprised, I looked down. My gun was not there.
Agent Agadd entered the room silently, dressed in full battle gear. Two men in dignified suits were at his side, one holding a white briefcase and the other black. I recognized them as his lawyers. He stepped forward, cocking my gun. "We had to disable your weapons as neccessary precaution."
I felt my old anger returning, the familiar tingling of the scars on my arm. Holding it at bay, I cleared my throat and said, "I thought I hid it pretty good."
"You did," he said. "But we did better."
With that statement, his lawyer opened the black briefcase and its contents spilled out. It was all bluetooth devices, tracking signals, trigger-activated grenades and mini bugs. With a shock, I realized it was all Patrick's. My anger returned full-scale and I couldn't hold it back any longer. My left arm snapped up and immediately 20 gun barrels focused intently on me. I hesitated, my fingers quivering inches from Agadd's throat. He smiled grimly.
"Shoot me," I growled. "I don't care."
The villain just beamed wider. Half the guns suddenly changed their target, resting on Patrick's still sleeping form. My heart skipped a beat. I forced my fingers close one by one and withdrew my hand, clenching it into a fist.
"You didn't have to do this," I said quietly.
Agadd's smile dissapeared. "Oh, I think its was a good thing I did, Miele," he said harshly.