How I Feel

I dont give a fuck if you people think how messed up i am..i have my own life and it is way more meaningful and valuable than yours..i actually have SOMETHINGS going in my life unlike you people and your low life pathetic so-called 'friends', they may be now but they'll fade away soon.. trust me, i know. You guys have so much fun together but that is in your own,small world, you dont have a taste of the real and painful world outside there but when you do, you'll suffer for sure. All of you will struggle endlessly desperately trying to find something to cling on to..but theres no one there..cuz they're also busy with themselves,their own problems now...

You guys use each other and call them 'friends' because you want your own security from them.. because besides them you have nothing else..no one..it may seem fun, hanging out at Mc'd in the wee hours of the morning, sleeping over, spending the entire day at Sunway mooning over designer bags..

but its all an illusion.

The only real connection you guys had with each other was these fun, materialistic worldy things. You may describe yourself as fun, sociable, caring, and open, but ive yet to see it from you. How you treat people like they're below you just cuz they're sidelined..pushed aside and ignored..do you know why i dont bother with you people? why i act like you guys are just a waste of my time?

Because you ARE. I have better friends, better people to mingle around with, and better ways to spend my time. I know what you are. I know what you will turn out to be in the future. and the future is definitely not a place that i would want it with you.
If i could say this in your face now, i would.
THIS IS NOT MY FAULT.
I tried to talk to you. I did. I gave up my own pride and PRETENDED to act happy, pretended to be interested in all the things you were bragging about...but it was nothing.

i hate it. I hate seeing you making a big drama out of everyday things and tagging each other on facebook.. i cant stand it. i DONT WANT to mix you guys, ive tried it once before and nothing turned out well. All ive accomplished so far is this worthless mix, i believe that being with you isnt going to get me anywhere in life. You and i come from different worlds.
Again, i tried. dont say this is my fault.

I dread seeing you again.